All of the important things in life I learned from the Princess Bride:

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• Chocolate makes it go down easier.

• Men in masks are not to be trusted.

• The word of a Spaniard is no good.

• You won’t get such an offer from the eels.

• Inconceivable does not mean what you think it means.

• As you wish really means I love you.

• Death cannot stop true love.

• If you rush a miracle man, you get a rotten miracle.

• Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

• Mostly dead means slightly alive.

• The only thing to do with a dead man is to go through his pockets and look for loose change.

• “To blave” means “to bluff”

• Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

• In swordfighting, employ Bonetti’s Defense on rocky terrain.